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Cardiff’s School of Passion – Review

Words: Meryl Cubley

PASSION, located on City Road, Cardiff, is one of the biggest ‘sexy shops’ in Cardiff, and I would imagine, probably the country. Wales met the official Geneva-based International Organisation for Standards (ISO) in 2012 and is now recognised as an independent country in the UK – rather than an outdated ‘principality.’ With hugely successful businesses such as PASSION metaphorically flying the Welsh flag high and proud, this is a country firmly bringing sexy back.

The adults-only shopping promises the largest selection of lingerie, fantasy wear and fetish wear in Wales; and markets itself as a ‘couple friendly’ superstore of fantasy and play for adults. With lingerie, corsets, clothing, costume jewellery, stockings, shoes, boots, adult gifts and erotic books to get you in the mood, PASSION firmly believes that couples who play together – stay together.

Alice’s playground

From the outside (you can’t miss it – look for the girly pink building) the store doesn’t look particularly big, yet step inside and you will find yourself in a veritable Alice in Wonderland of every possible erotic penchant imaginable. There are wipe-down friendly rubber vinyl wear and PVC, harnesses, masks and blindfolds. Maybe you fancy a Squaddie for the night? There’s an outfit here for your man. Something altogether more swash-buckling? A Pirate costume will tickle your box. See yourself as Catwoman? PASSION has some gorgeous catsuits – and if you feel like being a little more subservient for the night, then the French Maid is for you. Nursery is also there of course; whereas for me, the one that got my heart racing was a very sexy female Pilot outfit which was just (as they say here in Wales) LUSH.

There are all manner of ornaments and extras to fit all of your fantasies (Asylum anyone? You’re the ‘patient,’ the man is the ‘doctor’ who can’t resist peering inside his wards of care – yes, it’s a speculum) and if you’re into water games – PASSION has Orgy Lakes – perfect for slippery sex games, without ruining the carpet. Ruff Lust is a selection of ‘hands’ and paddles for spanking made from leather for naughty girls and boys; as well as riding crops and whips for the dominatrix amongst you.

The hosiery on offer is outstanding, with quite a lot of it suitable for everyday wear – I particularly liked the Magic Legs spandex heart back seam sheer pantyhose; and the Elegant Moments leopard print hold-ups.

There are lubes-a-plenty to suit all and every need; as well as dolls such as ‘Big John,’ and if all this sex shopping tires you out, PASSION also stocks clothes, though you may want to save them for the bedroom rather than the boardroom or high street.

PASSION is also a LELO stockist (the Rolls Royce of sex toys and accessories) but never fear – as more purse-friendly ranges are widely available, so there really is something for everyone. They have a good selection of erotic books that span guides for ménage à trois, to Kim Cattrall’s Sexual Intelligence and Linda Bird’s, 52 Brilliant Ideas – Look Gorgeous Always.  And whilst browsing this area of the store I found my pulse quickening upon finding a fabulous range of 50’s style bikinis and bathing costumes which whilst there needs to be more in varying sizes (my girls need underwiring and a balconette style when it comes to bikini tops) they are fabulously designed. Think polka dots, stripes aplenty and sailor ahoy motifs.

School of Passion

However, as much as I could have stayed shopping forever more, I was here to experience PASSION’S first salon – the ‘School of PASSION,’ launched in February, as a series of master classes to offer customers the chance to improve their knowledge of all things sexy.

The first presentation, ‘Sex Toys for Girls,’ serves as a brilliant introduction to both what PASSION is looking to achieve with their School of PASSION and as a chance for women to come along and learn what all the buzz is about from in-house experts.

For those looking to buy a first vibrator, or simply curious about the history of sex toys; and as an opportunity to have a fun girly afternoon in the shop, this first class is perfect.

After being led upstairs to the studio (which houses 9 poles used for fitness and dance instruction on a daily basis – not classes on how to strip I’m told) myself and the other ladies are settled down by a strict and sexy ‘mistress’ who outlines that lateness will not be tolerated at this ‘School’ – and those who do come late will be made to sit on the naughty seat (this is later filled by her friend who has been delayed by a long visit at the hair salon).

Dressed in a pencil skirt, white blouse, hair tumbling loose and glasses, the ‘mistress’ puts everyone at their ease with her skit of a Principle-type and soon we are all laughing and tucking into pastries and cupcakes and tea and coffee. There is an ‘all girls together’ feeling, which the mistress facilitates well; and once everyone is happily munching away we begin:

History of vibrators

Kick off is a potted history of the sex toy which is informative and interesting, particularly to the ladies present. Our mistress is also very keen to point out that the stigmas of the past in terms of women and their sexuality do not exist at PASSION – whether they still exist in the wider social and cultural landscapes or not.

The story of mechanical devices and a little Freud is followed by the 1960s and ’70s and the sexual revolution; right up to the modern era with SATC, sexual-topic documentaries and the 50 Shades phenomenon.

We discuss the massively varying types of customer at PASSION from adolescents to the silver sexy sixties; and everything in between. Our mistress tells us that in the UK today 1 in 3 households will have at least one sex toy in residence – so just what are us sexy Brits buying?

The story of the sex toy wouldn’t be complete without touching on the cutie bunny. Our mistress tells us the toy was originally produced in Japan before a Californian company imported the ‘Rabbit Pearl’ in 1984. We are instructed that any beginner should start off simply and gradually move upwards; our mistress tells us that when you start drinking you don’t start on whiskey for example – and straight away we are all wondering what the ‘whiskey’ of the sex toy will be…

Choosing a sex toy…

After passing around a few of the rabbit toy ranges; we take a look at clit stimulators, straight vibe dildos, eggs, remote controlled toys (men love these for the gadget appeal) and we talk about how most can also be used anally – with a lot of lube girls!

Noise levels are discussed and some of the ladies tell stories of accidental sex toy discovery due to unwanted and unexpected volume issues. We take a look at power bullets, and everyone’s interest is aroused when our mistress gets out a vibe with Mick Jagger lips and interesting tentacles, that is made to fit over the entire vaginal area, for lots of multiway pleasure. I like.

LELO has to make an appearance; they are truly beautiful toys – but again our mistress explains that there are plenty of toys out there that suit everyone’s budget – you don’t have to have a lot of cash to have a lot of sexual fun.

We look at the Mini Mite and the Rampant Rabbit; as well as Petit Ami. Talk moves on to handcuffs (and a small child locking himself to the school gates with his mother’s cuffs) and the best place to keep your sexy toys. Most of us agree it’s the bedside cabinet – one lady tells us she has a blanket box full of toys. Go, girl!

More bunnies come out of the box of tricks, including one with twin turbo oscillation. Oh, baby! Which leads us nicely onto anal toys.

We discuss different types of lube, and the mistress shows us some aqua-friendly anal toys which I think is rather a good idea if you’re looking for bum fun.

Next up are love balls and the importance of Kegel exercises, which can be done sans balls of course – but why be dull? We’re taught about the many different anal balls, including metal balls, which are great for those who are into temperature erotica.

The Naughty Nano looks like a lot of fun; and works alongside your iPod – and we’re challenged to find out how naughty our playlists are!

Back to vanilla vibes and we all ‘ooh’ and ‘ahhh’ at the blingiest bunny ever, The Extreme Pure Gold is definitely one for the ladies who have everything or just cannot get through the day without a little sparkle.

Remember the one that Sam uses in SATC? We all take our time examining this bad boy and our mistress tells us it’s also used in porn films – and works incredibly well as a back and body massager too – so I think that £53 price tag is more than good value. There are also no concerns over a fizz out of battery situation like Samantha’s did at a very crucial moment, the Super Silicone is rechargeable, which makes it a winner for me.

Mistress explains that vibes are not a man-replacement and that most sex toys work fantastically well with a partner – and the ranges available are so wide, with lots of non-phallic, so that those who have understandable cock issues can rest easy.

So, maybe it’s time for that whisky now?… and wow! does it pack a punch! The ladies are in hysterics as mistress shows us the damn right barmy dildos that are in no uncertain terms – HUGE!!!! We look at the 12” Pretty in Pink Double Dong, the 15” veined Shaft No Hardener, the 18” Double Header in black… and finally (the strongest whiskey in the world) the Ream and Scream Suction, which is absolutely bizarre – and I can’t imagine how anyone would be able to mount it, using any orifice, without the use of some serious muscle relaxants.

This final part of the class is really just for japes and jokes, but we are told that some gay men, particularly in the European market do buy these monsters. I find that the mental images this information brings to mind are not welcome, and so I busy myself with more tea and cake and another look at all the pretty toys which beg to be played with…

Can’t get to PASSION? Fear not – they’re also online! 

Photo: Thanks to Wyron A on Unsplash

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Blog Wellness

Slow Sex Retreat, Normandy – Review by Rose Rouse

12687978_478474649006642_955684952018020104_nMy partner and I have recently returned from the Seven Day Making Love Retreat and we’re feeling much quieter inside as well as more deeply connected to one another. Why did we embark on this workshop – created by Diana Richardson, author of six books, including Slow Sex, Tantric Orgasm for Women and Tantric Sex for Men – which introduces a different and more sustainable kind of making love?

Well, we were happy with our sex lives but aware that there was another kind of making love available which could make our intimacy greater so we wanted to try out this possibility. We wanted to explore what else was out there for a couple to experience. And the UK teachers, Jayne Blackman and Tim Broughton are friends of mine, so I had already observed what richness and increased love this work had brought to their relationship. And I knew it included allowing more vulnerability into my relationship and I wanted that to happen.

Other reasons for going are that couples may have stopped having sex and fallen into contented companionship, yet realise there is also something missing. Or perhaps one person in the partnership has become nervous about sex because of a health difficulty or erectile dysfunction or numbness of the vagina. Or perhaps they simply want more joy in their making love.

By the time I set off, I was so looking forward to this week being just for my partner and myself. We’d had quite a turbulent summer and I was yearning for peace of heart and mind. The location itself – the Mill Retreat Centre in Normandy – was so gorgeous. An old mill, open fires, delicious vegetarian meals, a group room to die for and autumnal sun in the idyllic grounds that had a lake, falling willow leaves and even a kingfisher. And Jayne and Tim were so personal in their approach that it made the subject of sex (not always easy) so ordinary and every day. I really enjoyed conversing in a pragmatic way about sex with the other couples. It was liberating and a relief.

Our days were spent dancing, meditating, doing bodywork – one of the most important aspects of this work is that you can’t really make love if you’re not present, and so we were encouraged with activities like dance and meditation that brought us into the body – being taught the theory of what we were doing and putting that information into practice. There was dedicated time to make love, which at first seemed a little odd but soon turned into a valuable practice. This style of making love really is a practice like doing yoga or 5Rhythms.

One of the tenets of this work is that in order to fully connect with your partner, you have to connect to yourself first. Oh, I so loved connecting to myself in this tranquil way. It became a resource that I’m still using after the workshop. And because I had opened to myself first and was feeling loving, I could be so much more open and loving to my partner. That difference was wonderful to feel.

One of the aspects of Jayne and Tim’s relationship that I’d noticed before was that they could be vulnerable in the moment. They would say to each other – ‘Oh, wait a minute, I need to go inside ’ or ‘I’m feeling sad right now’ or ‘I feel emotional’. My partner and I took the opportunity to practise more of this during our dedicated making love time. One day, we had a big falling out – we triggered each other and couldn’t sort it out straight away – and we were able to communicate later on in a profoundly vulnerable way. That enabled me to see my behaviour more and it brought more love to our making love.

Which really is what it’s all about – opening the heart, bringing more softness to everyday contact as well as sexual connection plus more skills around communication and understanding. Jayne and Tim bring their own sweet love – as well as the difficulties they encounter along the way – to this workshop in a way that is invaluable and inspiring.

Slow sex, making love in this more conscious way – which is based on the exchange of sexual energy between male and female poles in the body, and moving the focus away from hot sex or orgasms – requires time. I don’t pretend to have got there yet. But we have begun to feel the potential of this way of making love and we’ve booked in our next making love session. It’s actually being committed to giving the time to it that also makes it possible. Incidentally, I also witnessed transformations on this workshop. One woman said she’d been numb in her pelvis area for over 10 years – she’d been having sex with her husband but not enjoying it – and this situation totally changed for her. She became sexually alive again and it was a joy to behold.

In the meantime, I’m welcoming the new levels of harmony into my relationship. Long may it last.

The next Making Love Retreats for couples with Jayne and Tim are May 15th – 22nd and Oct 30th – Nov 6th 2016 at the EarthSpirit Centre in Somerset. Do check out the website and their video: www.themakingloveretreat.co.uk

And please join the Making Love Community.

This article was first published in The Connections Magazine. 

Rose’s Blog: Not on Safari in Harlesden. 

Photos: Thanks to Tim Broughton, Jayne Blackman and Cherries: Chris Liverani on Unsplash

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Hastings Art: Ella Guru’s Nightlife Paintings

Ella Guru has led a vibrant life… the mother of one is a ‘Stuckist’ artist and portrait painter, a teacher and has worked as a go-go dancer, a guitarist, and with the homeless, moving from Ohio to squat in London in the ’80s, all of which infuses her magic realist style. Her latest work is a 22-card Major Arcana Tarot Deck, which mirrors her journey from city to the seaside. Nicci Talbot met the artist at her home studio for a reading.

Last year Ella Guru packed her bags and moved to St Leonards-on-Sea after 23 years in London.

For the past 2 1/2 years, she has been working on a new collection: a hand-painted, oil on canvas, 22-card Major Arcana Tarot Deck, which has documented an arduous journey from city to the seaside.

“The cards are about the journey of moving,” she tells me when we meet at her studio and were inspired by her role as one of the 13 founders of the Stuckist Art Movement in 1999 (she also set up the website). At Paris Stuckist Ella Dax’s instigation 22 Stuckists painted a card each from the Major Arcana. Ella’s was ‘The Magician’ inspired by her friend, the international magician Paul Nathan. What she didn’t realise back then was that this was the start of a momentous journey that has culminated in a move to the seaside and the creation of her own Tarot Deck.

It has not been a sequential journey. “They are more back to front” and have taken on a life of their own with fortune-tellers, surfers and paddleboarders (her new hobby – she has swapped masked balls for masked swims…) colliding with Burlesque performers, artists, musicians and vagabonds. “Three of the cards are about Hastings, can you guess which ones…?”

There are recurrent themes of identity, alternative lifestyles, journeys, and being an outsider.

Does she feel that way about the art world?

“I’m a trained artist with a degree and so I don’t fit the bill of ‘Outsider’. However, I also don’t seem to fit in anywhere in the art world. I am not a conceptual artist. Nor am I a completely traditional painter. I am a ‘Stuckist’, which encompasses a huge variety of styles but is more of an attitude than a specific method of working. Some Stuckists can be outsiders; others have PhDs and successful careers.” She is inspired by painters like Caravaggio and Velázquez and her work has a modern twist influenced by The Tiger Lillies, Rocky Horror Picture Show, The Last Tuesday Society, Gypsy Hotel, Shore Leave (a sailor’s club) and the Lucha Britannia Mexican wrestling shows (wrestling comes up a lot of her work inspired by her childhood friend Maura who took it up in Seattle).

She works mainly from photographs she has taken and likes to play with role and gender reversal, exploring the idea of changing one’s identity through make-up and costume. She was brought up Catholic in Columbus, Ohio and says there was lots of shame around the body and being naked, so it’s interesting that she has chosen to push these boundaries with her work.

Scenes of Bacchanal Delight

Many of the cards depict a journey of some sort or a ‘facing the demons’ scenario. Occasionally she’ll add a self-portrait – the Medusa Mermaid is her scuttling away from the telephone not wanting to deal with bureaucratic nonsense, and in The Chariot, she is on the island of Sark in a chariot race, desperate to move. The Justice card shows a young black man, a friend’s son from Hackney who was so fed up with being stopped and searched by police that he went to Cambridge to study Law. The Empress card depicts Kali, the destructive side of the Mother Goddess. The Emperor is Pan, Alexander the Great and the Green Man, and the Devil is a drunk. My spiritual guide (The Hierophant) is a Rock & Roll priest, and Temperance is Sweeney Todd, the Demon Barber, who mixes hair dye amongst severed heads. This was inspired by a friend, Amanda Mae Steele.

She had so many compliments on the peachy ass in the Devil card that it now has its own Facebook Page – The Arse of Almande Magdalene – and has been added to the Wheel of Fortune card. It was also a performance piece for a while in Brighton, she says, and you could spank it, stroke it, kiss it…

Ella has also been surprised by a number of uncanny events since she finished the paintings. Her friend who inspired the Empress Kali card fell pregnant and she noticed a fertility rabbit in the corner… another card shows a friend caught between illness and health and he later developed cancer.

I am curious about the eggs in the frying pan in ‘Baked Velázquez’, as they look slightly out of place. She explains that Velázquez painted eggs frying in his first masterpiece at age 19. In the 17th century, that would have been difficult because there were no photographs to capture that moment when the eggs are just starting to congeal.

Being in her studio is a bit of a magic carpet ride and so, feeling inspired I asked her to give me a quick Tarot reading.

“I can give you a basic 4-card reading,” she says, explaining that her friend Trisha is a whizz with Tarot (and will be doing readings throughout her exhibition, which starts tonight in St Leonards). “Trisha can do full readings with 72-cards. She does Romanian Gypsy cards too and the last few times she’s done them has been amazingly accurate – spookily so…”.

I drew the first and last cards of the pack as part of my set of four – ‘The Fool’ and ‘The World’ – which seemed rather fortuitous. The former indicates where I am now… “about to embark on a journey” she says, and the latter indicating that things will be alright. “The world is your oyster… things will come together.”

A nice balance to my favourite of the local cards, which depicts a darker side of Hastings… the Tower pub in St Leonards balancing precariously above the falling cliffs of Rock-a-Nore in Hastings Old Town (part of the cliff recently fell down and Ella was on the beach at the time). It captures the mood of living here brilliantly.

Signed packs of the Tarot cards will also be on sale at £45 each or you can buy them online here. 

I took the darkness and ran with it. She is passing the baton to Anne Sophie, her young protégé. She is saying be bold, be free, and be true to yourself. Express who you are, and don’t hold back. And whatever you do, “Don’t wear beige. It might kill you.” Sue Kreitzman.

Sue Kreitzman – http://www.ellaguru.co.uk

www.ellaguru.co.uk

Read our interview with Sue Bourne, director of Fabulous Fashionistas.

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The Flying Lovers of Vitebsk – review

A couple of scenes in this play wound me up. In one the painter Marc Chagall is dismissive of his wife Bella’s talents and says, “You’ll never be a writer because you’re always thinking about something else”. In another, he’s four days late coming home following the birth of their daughter because he’s been immersed in his painting. When Bella tells him how painful the birth was and that she can hardly walk he says, “Do you think what I do happens painlessly?”.

The Flying Lovers is director Emma Rice’s final play for Kneehigh Theatre and tells the story of the surrealist painter Marc Chagall and his wife Bella Rosenfeld, the daughter of a wealthy Jewish family who own several jewellery shops in Vitebsk, Belarus. They go through several events together – two world wars, the Russian Revolution and the persecution of the Jews which drives them out of Russia to seek refuge elsewhere. I love this painting by Chagall, the inspiration for the cover photo from the play, which captures freedom of spirit and their feelings for one another. Chagall believed that freedom of the soul led to more abstract work.

It’s a small cast – just four actors on stage – Marc and Bella (Marc Antolin and Audrey Brisson) and two musicians (composer Ian Ross and multi-instrumentalist James Gow) who play beautiful, haunting music and take on different roles throughout. The first half is joyful to watch: funny, sexy; a riot of colour that introduces both characters and tells us how they met. Various scenes are played out around an imaginative tent pole created by Sophia Clist. The mood is expansive and full of possibilities as they get to know one another.

Chagall is restless though and building his career so goes off to Paris to discover new art movements – Fauvism and Cubism – he wants to be taken seriously as a painter in his own country and for this, he needs to leave and exhibit elsewhere in Europe. Bella stays home convinced that he’s discovering other women too. After a few years, he returns and they marry.

The mood becomes more sombre in the second half as they flee to St Petersburg so he doesn’t have to do service. The reality of married life sets in, Bella at home alone in their damp flat counting down the hours until he returns and they can “create a new colour together”. A smart and educated woman, she’s aware that she has been his muse and the inspiration for much of his work (“My whole life is pervaded by the colour of loving you”), but at the end of the day it’s his name at the bottom of the canvas and “what shall I do?”.

She starts keeping a journal and at the same time discovers that she’s pregnant, her initial surprise turning into creativity as she immerses herself in her writing.

On the surface, this seems like a simple play, a little clichéd in parts – starving artist meets a wealthy woman who becomes his lover and muse, but there are several themes running throughout which are just as relevant today: what it means to be married, an artist, a mother, private versus public life, loss of identity and homeland, loneliness, and the hidden side of lives that are not in the public eye.

How gutting that as they finally get some stability and peace in New York Bella becomes ill and dies at 56 from lack of suitable medication. Chagall goes into mourning and realises how wrapped up he’s been in his own work. He publishes her Yiddish memoirs with their daughter’s help. It’s also sad that it’s only after she’s gone that he realises how vivid her writing is and that although they saw the same things in life it was through different eyes.

It didn’t move me to tears as some of their other plays have but this is a story worth telling and even more relevant today with the movement of people across Europe. It is an intimate and personal tribute from Emma Rice to the theatre company she has loved and grown with over the past few years.

At the Lost Gardens of Heligan, St Austell from Thursday 14th to Sunday 31st July 2016.

Some of Marc Chagall’s paintings are on display for two months in Vitebsk.

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Exhibition: Love Lived by Holly Wren

Photographer Holly Wren’s exhibition LOVE LIVED is on the first and second floor lobbies at Broadgate Tower in the City of London. Giant cubes featuring images of 14 people she interviewed for her project were lit up outside back in February and are now on the move to two further locations. “The cubes have been really popular and look spectacular at night. They are a great way for people to engage with art,” says Holly, whose aim was to have a cross-generational project that challenges preconceptions around love and relationships and celebrates ageing. She is also questioning why older people – the fabric of the city – are no longer anywhere to be seen.

“It was really important that the project wasn’t all hearts and flowers. There are people who have that and there are people who have never found love, and all the degrees in between. There are many different types of love to experience, and these stories demonstrate that breadth”.

All of her subjects except one couple, Rita and Ernie (above) were sourced through Contact the Elderly, the charity supporting the exhibition. They were all photographed at home and have experienced love in many forms – from chaperoned dates to chance meetings, dance halls and war army bases. Themes include first loves, passion, rejection, affection and marriage.

All of the stories are fascinating but some stand out for their subjects’ bravery in challenging social norms at the time. Joan was rejected by her first love and went on to build a business based on love, running the UK’s first escort agency and a computer dating service with a man she met on a blind date. Chitra from Trinidad shunned her arranged marriage when she realised it would mean giving up her career and moved to the UK in 1963 to train as a teacher. Florence from Jamaica responded to a lonely-hearts ad in her local paper, which led to a lifelong romance. Sidney, an ex-serviceman, describes his 62-year marriage to Winifred was one of convenience that had its ups and downs and questions how relevant marriage is to the younger generation now.

“We don’t normally ask older people about their experiences of love so it was good to have a conversation around that. I asked them questions like, “Can you describe love?” and “what was it that you loved about your husband?” Two of the men cried when talking about their wives who had died but interestingly none of the women did, which surprised me as the exhibition mostly featured women. Sometimes the responses were quite simple, which made me wonder if we overthink love or place too much emphasis on looking for some pre-ordained idea”.

Looking at photos of strangers can be a little surreal so hearing their backstories and having some context through video interviews is grounding. The videos on Holly’s website add depth and enable you to get to know the characters a bit more.  Love is universal in whatever form it takes and it’s reassuring to know we’re not alone with our disappointments.

“I’m amazed at the things people said and their honesty. I feel privileged to have done this. Most ordinary people are completely extraordinary when you dig in…”

LOVE LIVED is at the Broadgate Tower first and second-floor lobby spaces, available to view by appointment until 10th June. www.lovelived.co.uk.

Visit Contact the Elderly to find out more about joining their team of volunteers.